As quickly as the good spell came the last few weeks, it had also disappeared. Kyle spent a week close to home as his anxiety escalated again during the half moon cycle. Autism is like a fish pond at a carnival, you never know what you’ll get on the end of your stick. Vance stayed here one morning with Kyle till he was ready to go out with Sarah, while I ran errands. When I got back, Vance had just convinced Kyle to go out on the swing set, and Sarah was going to take over. He then headed out to check on his employees in the bush. I decided to take a walk down our long driveway and fetch some mail out of our mailbox. I love walking our path on a sunny day, it’s entirely beautiful. Daisies, which are my favourite flower, line our dirt driveway.
I was almost to the house when I heard Sarah screaming. She had texted the word “bear” to both Vance and me, but I hadn’t heard my phone chime. I ran into the house and out onto the back deck and found Sarah there on guard. She told me she saw a bear and started screaming at it to scare it away. I looked over at Kyle, he was happily swinging on the swing as though he didn’t have a care in the world, Sarah, on the other hand, looked like she’d seen a ghost. She probably knew the bear saw her as a fresh steak on a BBQ.
Vance immediately called when he saw the text and said he would come back home and drag Kyle into the house, so he was safe. I told him I thought Sarah scared the bear off for good and everything was under control. Sarah asked for some pots and pans and situated herself on the swing next to Kyle’s as she took on the role of bodyguard and cymbal player with two lids. Kyle still swung… no worries. Everyone was alive, and life went on.
This week was a monumental week, I returned to CrossFit. I had given my body a long break and then some. My immune system seems to be up, it took a bit of a hit when we removed all the rugs and was down for a good week as urinary tract symptoms returned for seven days. I decided it was time to quit being a lazy bum and just get up and go to the gym. I knew it would be laborious after a three-month break and was stalling my return to CrossFit, giving excuse after excuse every time Vance asked me to go to the gym with him. I had run out of reasons and was thinking of faking some horrible disease.
The workout went better than I thought, my body actually stays in shape longer than most people’s would if they had a long spell off. I forgot how therapeutic CrossFit is to the body and mind. Two days later when we were watching a practical jokes show on TV, my belly was aching horribly every time I laughed, my stomach muscles felt like they were punching me in the gut. Hello, abdomen!
My next big project, now that we are almost done with two back to back fundraisers … finding a publisher. I will be contacting some publishing companies in the coming months to come to see if one of them will take on my book, Beauty from Ashes. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, most publishing companies do not want to take on a self-published book no matter how good they are. Unless of course, you’re a criminal who committed a horrendous crime or are very popular in the media, which I am neither. I could rob a bank, or steal an old ladies purse and see if I make the news and gain some popularity, but most likely I will write another book and submit the manuscript, and then hope they take on Beauty from Ashes also. If you’re writing a book right now, learn from my experience.
A reader contacted me last week, letting me know she read my book and enjoyed it and also read it to her kids, and they loved it too! She joked about how she wasn’t aware I grew up poor but assumed since I lived in a big house that I couldn’t relate to commoners like her. Even though she was kidding, there is truth in those words. How many of us pick our houses or cars according to how we feel society will view us. Sometimes even my clothes are chosen hoping my girlfriends will approve. I was out for lunch one day with a lovely lady who dresses eccentrically, and she told me that she knows people don’t always agree with what she wears, but she loves her own style. I need her attitude. If I was the only person on earth, would I still dye my hair, wear those cute shoes and put on my favorite lipstick. I don’t think I would. I even care too much about what people think, or I would wear my comfy pyjamas out every day. Sometimes I’m scary looking.
I get up every morning before Vance, to write. He texts me once he’s out on the front porch with his coffee and I come down and join him. When I came out yesterday, he commented that I looked like an author. I looked down. I had on my black and white pyjamas pants, my floral cotton dress I wore the day before (why not it’s cotton) a white sweater buttoned up over the top, a scarf and Vance’s work sock (He keeps this house freezing.) Honestly, if I didn’t care what society thought I’d go out in that outfit… but I care.
I am reminded of when Aryanna was about eight and still had the sweet innocence of a child. She had a friend over who said, “Let’s play fashion model” and asked me to videotape them. Aryanna had been home-schooled, and we didn’t watch TV, just videos we had chosen that we thought were good for our kids educationally, spiritually, or were just good family entertainment. I was wondering what the girls were going to do as “Fashion models.” I turned on the camera, and her little friend strutted her stuff, doing the catwalk, and she was actually quite good at it! Then it was Aryanna’s turn, and she stomped across the room doing the bunny hop with no poise or grace, sounding like an elephant. I worked hard at not letting the tears spill down my face, as I laughed hysterically at what my little girl thought a fashion model did. She hadn’t learned to strut yet, and at that moment I secretly hoped she never would. I prayed she would just be Aryanna and have confidence knowing being herself was the best version she could be.
Aryanna is grown now, and if you haven’t met her, she is a lovely woman with a tender, soft heart. Her friend who was strutting her stuff when she was little… is now one of the kindest, most adorable people you will meet. Thankfully both girls became their own version of themselves. I’m guessing your family and friends like the “you” they see each day, instead of the version we put on for media or strangers 💗
Charm is deceptive , and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Believing and hoping