Casting Stones at Unwed Mothers

Life and death… who gets to decide when it begins and ends?


That word has been tossed about to and fro in our media and schools, in the past twenty years. But it only includes a mother’s choice. It does not include fathers, grandfathers, grandmothers, friends, and other relatives… or maybe it does.

If you were to ask all the humans on this earth, “Do you wish you had died in the womb, do you wish you had had no choice?” I guess ninety-nine percent would say “No.” Because if their answer were “Yes,” sadly, they probably would have found a way to end their own life by now.

Yet many who never would have wanted to be aborted themselves, are aborting their unborn children. Why? There are many reasons. For some, they want to hide their shameful secret; They had sex before marriage.

News Flash… many of the ones judging them also did. They also may have overheard how we responded to hearing a young girl was pregnant in the past and remembered our unkind words. Even though God makes the ultimate decision on whether he will breathe life into a baby… some people see the baby as the sin. Then we wonder why a young girl has to hide her secret or get rid of it. If she keeps her baby, she’s judged, and if a girl aborts, she may be shunned. Either way, her choice feels like she is trapped.


You may have heard of the adulterous woman in the Bible, in John, chapter eight:

She was waiting to be stoned by a throng of angry, judgmental Pharisees and teachers of the law, in the temple courts where Jesus was. You will remember the beautiful story of Jesus, God’s son, bending in the sand and writing with his hand, as the men gave him reasons why they should kill her.

They said that the laws of Moses commanded them to stone such a woman. Then they asked Jesus what he thought. They were hoping to trap him, hoping to accuse him, they wanted to find a reason to crucify him.

Then he stood up and said to them, “Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone at her.” Then one by one all the men left.

There stood Jesus and the woman…alone.

“Woman where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared.” Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Many years ago, I went to visit a young, unmarried mother in the hospital, after she had a baby. We had heard there was a woman just down the hall from her that we both knew, and decided to stroll down with her newborn son and visit the woman. We walked in the room, and her parents were there visiting her. The parents were devoted Christians, well known in the Christian community. They knew both of us well.

They said hello to me, and chatted away to me, but ignored the new mother standing by my side. The couple never acknowledged her or her newborn baby.

Pharisees ready to cast their stones.

It worked their silence wounded her deeply. Her baby was an outcast… yes her innocent child. I felt her shame, her pain and hurt. Many young women are looking for a man to love them, their intentions are good, but sometimes have consequences that can be painful in the end.

A church may announce the birth of babies born to married mother’s, but not announce the birth of a baby born to an unwed mother.

More stones were thrown.



God understands our search for love. He sometimes realizes it causes us to do things we may regret later and he’s not condoning how we fulfill those desires. But he always offers forgiveness to those who ask.

God does not cast out the children of this world, born out of wedlock, he does not turn his face from them. He opens his arms wide for them and their mother’s and wants to shower them with love and grace.

My husband, Vance, told me of the time his father took him aside when he first started dating and said to him, “Vance if you ever get in trouble, you can come to me.”  Vance’s dad, Barry, wasn’t condoning promiscuity, he was telling his son he would love him no matter what choices he made

He said that heartfelt talk caused him to really trust his father. His father passed away a few years ago… he had allowed his children to make mistakes, but the love was always there, regardless.

Vance became a father after we were married, but appreciated the words his dad had said to him when he was young.


How will you chose to respond to your child if they tell you they are pregnant, or to a young girl you heard was expecting a baby? Will you condemn, or judge, or cast them out? Or will you offer love and support, or a place of shelter?

All the shaming and anger won’t make the baby go away…or maybe it will.

God offers healing and forgiveness to mother’s who have aborted. He wants to give hope to those who are carrying a child now. If that’s you, he has a future planned for your child and also for you.

We get to choose how we respond to these young moms; Condemnation or love.

Your choice, may affect their choice.


Believing and hoping

Cindy Seaton






Author: cindyseaton69

I am the author of Beauty From Ashes: A Mother's Journey from Bitterness to Hope.