Have you ever been chased around by someone who wanted to kiss you, and your feet just didn’t seem to move fast enough?
I was only six years old and had recently won the Mini Queen crown for my little town of Wawa, Ontario. An older boy who was about twelve, and attended the same country church as I did, had been teasing me that he was going to steal a kiss since he wanted to kiss the Mini Queen.
I had strategically avoided him for weeks, then one Sunday I knew I was going to be trapped and began to run. My little legs weren’t long enough to outrun him. He caught me in the back porch of the church, and I kicked and hit him as much as I could, but he pulled me to the ground and tried to kiss me. An adult came into the porch at that moment and told him to leave me alone. He got up and left.
I was very shaken.
When I had my own girls Charity and Aryanna, I took my own life experiences and parented my daughters with some precautions. If our girls said someone made them uncomfortable, I took it seriously.
My husband Vance had had a relatively simple and fairy tale life. Sometimes he thought I was being paranoid, but over time he began to understand I had an instinct that gave me an awareness of people.
Still to this day, I will warn my girls about shady characters or men I see as a bit on the shifty side.
With the enormous amount of information coming out about sexual abuse In Hollywood and in the political world, we as a society are beginning to realize this was going on a lot more than anyone knew.
Yet we still see the sexualization of women on our TV screens and computers in our own homes each and every day. If you stand at the checkout in the grocery store, you can stare at about a dozen women in their underwear on the cover of magazines.
If you like to eat in restaurants, you can get a free viewing of your waitresses cleavage as she bends to hand you your dish.
Beaches all over North America have women in increasingly smaller and smaller bikinis each year with material that is getting equally thinner.
Now, I want to get one thing straight right now. No matter how a woman is dressed, it is not okay to assault her, verbally or physically. NEVER is it okay!
But we as women also have a responsibility to not push this too far. We should be respecting men, if we know going half-naked in public arouses them, why would we dress that way. Some of you are angry right about now, “It’s my body, I can do what I want with it.” Yes, you are free to do what you want with your body as long as you are willing to accept the consequences that come with that statement. If you desire to be treated like an object, then dress like one. If you want to be treated like a lady…be one.
Somewhere along the way some men have thought women were sexual toys instead of like my husband says, “A beautiful flower the creator has made.” If we as women realize this is how men are viewing us, as sexual toys to play with, wouldn’t we want to change that if we had the power to do so? But we’re not. Many women and young ladies are contributing to it.
I realize there are evil men that will assault women even if they are dressed like a nun, and I am not referring to these pathetic people.
Vance and I were sitting on a couple of beach chairs on Miami beach when a young woman pulled up in front of hundreds of us in her very itsy, bitsy, bikini and started posing inappropriately as her boyfriend took pictures. I was thinking to myself, “I bet those photos are going on Facebook.”
This is the reality we live in now. Some young women are preplanning their attire according to how it can get them attention on social media.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. -Proverbs 31: 26
Girls are posing sexually for media, then get mad when a young man makes a comment about her in public. Let me give it to you straight up. If a girl is posing inappropriately on Instagram and Facebook she is sending out a message, “I am interested in sex.” She may not realize that is the message she is sending…but that is the message that is being received on the other end.
Some of us have lost our self-respect and dignity. Your sexuality will fade one day, and if you’ve captured a young man solely because you are sexy, he may not be around when you’re old and wrinkled.
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. -Proverbs 31: 29-30
You want a man who values you for your laughter, tears, brains, kindness, personality, loveliness…you want him to love you. Deep in any woman’s heart is a desire to be loved for who she truly is.
If a man brought you a beautiful bouquet of flowers, but you knew it was only so you would like him, would you be impressed? What if a man bought you a bouquet of flowers because he knew they would bring a smile to your face and laughter to your lips and he loved that about you. How would you feel about the flowers then?
You want a man who would fight tooth and nail for you and not use you for his own gain. Someone who sees you as his beautiful flower, so precious he will protect and shelter you so nothing would harm his delicate blossom.
When I was seventeen I started dating the man of my dreams and when he kissed me it was completely different than when I was six being chased by a rotten boy. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Vance. He made my head spin, and my heart beat like crazy. We’ve been married thirty years this coming year.
Sometimes I look across the room at him, and I think to myself, “How did I get so blessed?” Vance treats me like a queen every day. Trust me, girls, this is what you want, and you don’t need to lure a good man in with your body or lack of clothes. If he’s a good man, he will chase you because he won’t want to miss out on the chance to be with a fantastic girl like you. He won’t let you go.
Value and respect yourself and wait for a man who sees you are more precious than rubies.
You’re worth fighting for…don’t settle for anything less.
Maybe fifty years later you’ll lean across and whisper to him…kiss me💗
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Believing and hoping,