A little humour:
The word coffee caught your eye, right? Then you almost didn’t open this post because you saw Decaf. Ya, I understand, let’s not go there… the thought is downright scary!
Have you ever wondered about the benefits of weaning off caffeine?
I know what your thinking: If I went off caffeine I would kill my husband and kids! You hit the nail right on the head. Caffeine keeps us sane, married, and off of the wanted posters.
I am a coffee connoisseur. I started drinking the smooth, addictive beverage about fifteen years ago. Both my parents are coffee drinkers. My mom had one of those tin metal percolators, and I loved the smell of coffee, but not the tase.
I had the odd cup with a friend, but usually stirred in about two tablespoons of sugar to cover the intense flavour.
Eventually, due to lack of sleep from having a child with autism and out of desperation, I added caffeine to my daily habits. Then last year when I was sick I had increased my addiction from one cup to three.
By accident, I went off caffeine when I had purchased four bags of decaf by mistake. I didn’t realize it till, after three weeks of being the most miserable, tired person on earth, did I see ‘decaf’ on the bag. By then, I was just starting to feel better and decided to stay off caffeine.
I would have the odd cup, usually on Sundays at church. I’m one of those people who if I sit down, I fall asleep. Our pastor, Wendell, is one of the most dynamic speakers I have listened to, but as good as he is, the congregation has caught me nodding off. Coffee keeps me awake and also makes me look super spiritual.
When we went away recently, I didn’t bring my ‘decaf’ with me and ended up back on caffeine for a few days. It was just enough to make me an addict again. When I got home and had no caffeine, I almost ripped my husbands head off for asking a simple question.
Then it hit me, there is a big difference between consuming caffeine or non-caffeine drinks. So I’m going to share what I noticed in my own body,
Con’s of Decaf Coffee
- That jumpy, jittery feeling that makes you feel like dancing through the wildflowers will not exist.
- Your creative brain is not as accessible.
- You will increase your chances of being on the local news if you go off decaf cold turkey.
- It’s not fun… very dull.
- Your friends will have to make a separate pot of coffee just for you. Now you are an annoying friend.
Pro’s of Decaf Coffee
- Your thirst mechanism will turn back on. I was barely ever thirsty when drinking caffeine.
- You will desire solid food. I had lost my appetite and could have lived on just coffee.
- You will sleep better. On the days I had caffeine I would wake up around 2 am and not be able to go back to sleep.
- You will become more hydrated. The more caffeine I drank, the older I looked. When I only consumed decaf my face starts filling out again.
- Your bladder won’t be as active. No explanation needed.
- If you are kidnapped, and your captor only has decaf, he will thank me for telling you this.
- When you do treat yourself to a real coffee once a week you will get a month’s worth of work done in one day. Say ‘I love you decaf.’
- Your digestion may improve. Caffeine can irritate the stomach lining. My tummy is much happier without the caffeine.
- Decaf tastes better. No, not really but it sounded good.
- You will be less jittery and calmer, which isn’t as fun but makes you look more mature.
After being on decaf for a month, I started having more energy. Although the caffeine really got me through some tough years and was needed at the time, I actually prefer staying off the caffeine. So I am weaning off again, this time it won’t be as hard since I don’t have a lot in my system.
Did you know if you go into Starbucks and ask for decaf coffee, they have to make a separate pot just for you? They have regular coffee and decaf espresso, but they don’t keep decaf coffee on hand.
One of my favourite cafe’s is Vibe Eatery Check out their gluten-free restaurant and cafe HERE. They make a separate pot of coffee just for me because really, no one drinks decaf anymore. I’m not judging you if you drink REAL coffee. I understand you want your kids in one piece at the end of a hectic day.
But if you have lost your appetite, barely drink water, and are having trouble sleeping at night, you might want to consider slowly weaning off caffeine. May I kindly suggest you rent a cabin in the woods and stay there by yourself till you turn from a werewolf, back to a human again.
I hope you found this post helpful, I’m guessing you’re still going to drink caffeine, because hey, drinking decaf just isn’t that cool. Plus being married for fifty years sounds like a cheaper and healthier plan than going off caffeine.
It’s all about your sanity, my friend.
Happy coffee drinking💗
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13