Twenty-eight years ago today, my husband Vance and I were racing through the streets of our city in a panicked state.
All my dreams were about to come true… I would become a mother.
I lay in my bed six hours later exhaustion and joy overwhelming every part of my soul and body.
Just three years before I sat in my high school classroom defending special-needs unborn babies — declaring they right.
To Live. To choose. To exist. To be.
I would go on an incredible journey to see if what I was saying was really what I believed or if I just defended these babies because It was what I thought was right. My high school teacher claimed unborn babies, who were imperfect in the world’s eyes should be eliminated.
I called her out, right in front of my classmates, and I wasn’t backing down. We were arguing back and forth. She mentioned a special needs girl we all knew and said,”Don’t you think it would have been better if her parents had gotten rid of her before she was born?”
A fire started in my belly and rose till it reached my mouth. I was beyond angry, I was livid.
Three years later…
Two days before Christmas we took home our Christmas gift from the hospital –Kyle Vance Henson, weighing 10 lbs 13 oz. He was a bundle of endless crying and screaming…for many many years.
Sleeping was something I would only wish and pray for. There would be no sleeping in heavenly peace.
Somewhere along the way, we learned to love a child who could give us nothing in return…absolutely nothing.
He would become one of my biggest sorrows and also one of my greatest joys.
When Kyle was three, he was diagnosed with autism when I was pregnant with my third child Devyn. Our daughter Charity was one and a half at the time. I had spent three years in tears and sleepless nights. How I survived those years seems impossible…
We went on to have two more children Eythan and Aryanna. Our family of seven was large, loud and boisterous. The kids were talking this week about getting out old family movies. I said I’d get out my earplugs.
These four kids love their brother beyond belief. Each of them was given to us with a unique purpose.
In the Bible, John the Baptist, who was Jesus cousin went before him declaring he was the son of God, the Saviour come to save the world.
Our children have gone ahead of their brother declaring his worth and value. They have loved Kyle even though he caused them great turmoil and stole their parents time and attention.
We have all learned something: to be valued you don’t have to contribute.Your life is of great worth just because you are a creation of the Master’s hand.
If Kyle had been born to find the cure for cancer, he would have no more value than he does as a man with autism who is one hundred percent relying on his family to meet every need.
Accomplishment doesn’t equal value.
(This video of Kyle will load upright once you press play)
Your value lies in being a creation, a child of God. He holds all people in equal esteem. We just haven’t caught up with his modern thinking yet or should I say old-fashioned ideas. He has had these thoughts since Adam and Eve, his first children were created.
Hopefully, that brings you comfort, to know you don’t have to be anything to be loved and cherished by God?
You just have to BE.
We have learned to love a child who can bring us no fame or fortune. He can’t even say, “I love you.”
Kyle will never marry, never have children, and never hold down a job himself. He will get no awards and no recognition. He still keeps us up some nights. We bath him, shave him and brush his teeth. He has destroyed a lot of our home. He has cost us massive amounts of money. For two years we wiped up his feces floor to ceiling every day.
On one of his worst days, I was holding him in my arms while he was covered in feces, unable to even feed himself.
I heard a beautiful whisper in my soul,
“Cindy, this is how I feel about people. I love them in all their filth and dirt. I want to love them where they are. Tell the people.”
God would ask us to care for a son who could give nothing in return but was loved anyway. This was what he did for the world. He sent his precious Son into a world which didn’t love him, who couldn’t give him anything.
The world hated Jesus, but he loved each human being. He came for all people, of all genders, ages, and nationalities. There was no one he didn’t want. There was no sin greater than his love.
He came to bring: Kindness. Peace. Joy. Hope. Love. Forgiveness. Salvation.
He took our filth to the cross and died with it so we could have a life beyond this earthly one.
I will never forget the day I was handed a baby who would change many lives. Whom I wrote a book after, Beauty from Ashes.
Kyle’s story points others to Christ. Christ in turns points to the preciousness of human life. This is a beautiful article from Focus on The Family: The Sanctity of Human Life: How We Help
We needed Kyle more than we would ever know. He was the second most treasured Christmas gift we ever received. Jesus was the first.
Happy Birthday, Kyle. You have been one of my greatest joys. You brought me heavenly peace and pointed me to a Saviour💗