Always believe something wonderful is about to happen!
Is this the motto you live by? Well, it certainly hasn’t been mine in the past. I wish I could say it had been. Recently I have become a believer in these words.
I’ve been one of those people who was always waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I come by it honestly. When I was younger I went through a series of unfortunate events: epilepsy, parents divorcing, being hit by a motorcycle, poverty, house burning down with me in it…do you get my picture.
Maybe your life has been worse than mine, and you developed the same paranoia, “Okay God what’s next?” I had begun to believe God had given me all these unfortunate events in my life, and that he was out to get me. Have you felt that way too?
Surprisingly my life was about to get much worse than what it had been, except for poverty, which is what I feared most at the time.
On December 18, 1989, I was handed a chubby, perfect, beautiful baby boy. I was twenty years old and was about to grow up faster than anyone ever should. Our son was born with celiac disease, but I didn’t know it until he was twenty-three years old. He went undiagnosed until then. Kyle also had autism. This made for a miserable child from birth.
Year upon year my son progressively became worse till he was twenty-five and living under a blanket in his room, smearing feces floor to ceiling throughout the day for two years. He stayed awake pounding his walls loudly for weeks on end…life couldn’t have been more terrible for him, or my husband Vance and I, or our other four children.
I couldn’t see any beauty in my life and certainly didn’t think something wonderful was about to happen. I was utterly broken and extremely angry with God…but he had a plan I couldn’t envision or see.
I prayed fiercely and fervently.
Little by little God brought our son out of his dark world and light began to shine into our lives again. Kyle started eating, gaining weight, he stopped smearing feces and began to talk once more. He went back out in public and began to have a life that made him happy.
I held my breath and waited for doom and gloom to strike again. Kyle kept improving. He began to smile and laugh, joke and tease. I started to breath more deeply and began to believe something wonderful was about to happen.
Low and behold, it did.
I stopped believing God was out to get me and realized he wanted what was best for me, which sometimes can mean allowing me to go through pain and sorrow. I would cling to God for dear life when my world was crumbling, and I would have my arms around his neck begging for mercy. But when life was light and breezy, I would toss God in the storage closet.
I was only calling out to God when life was filled with chaos, not when it was sunny and bright. One of his most profound desires is for us to love him on our good days and bad. To cling to him every day.
When my children were small, they were in swimming lessons. One of them had been swimming in the small pool for months. I was sitting up in the bleachers talking to the other homeschooling moms when all of a sudden my child was in the big pool. My heart rose, and my breathing became rapid. The teacher hopped in the pool with my child and swam behind them using a flotation device.
My son started swimming, and at first, he didn’t look too bad, but slowly his head went lower and lower in the pool till all that was left were two nostrils above the water. By now I was in complete panic mode, wringing my hands and praying.
I couldn’t figure out why the teacher wasn’t rescuing my child!!! Why was she letting him drown? I wanted to kill her at that moment. Finally, my son’s toe found the bottom, and he had reached the end of the pool. I breathed a sigh of relief. He stood up and smiled at all the other children and then at his teacher as if to say “I did it!”
My anger towards the teacher disappeared. I sat down and could hear that gentle voice. “Cindy that is how I take care of my children if they need me I’m there. But to grow stronger and closer to me, I have to let them struggle.”
It was an “aha” moment for me.
My son Kyle was drowning in his daily life, and so was I. This caused me to think God didn’t care, but he was swimming behind us all along. He allowed me to get to the point where only my nostrils were above water, I couldn’t take any more. Then he put the ground beneath my feet and allowed me to rise up and breath and bring Kyle with me.
Something wonderful did happen, I became an author and blogger who encouraged others after years of struggling to even breath. God knew I could help other hurting people in their journey because I had been there myself. Kyle’s story inspired people to trust God.
He turned my sorrow into joy!
How is your relationship with God? Do you remember him on your best and worst days?
God wants to have a daily relationship with you. He wants to support you when you’re struggling and hurting. God desires to have a loving, trusting, beautiful friendship with you. Have you decided to give your life, worries and struggles to God?
If you will say yes to God… something wonderful is about to happen💗
Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.
The Lord is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.
Save your people and bless your inheritance;
be their shepherd and carry them forever.
-Psalm 28: 6-9
Believing and hoping,