Have you ever been blessed with a rainbow after a storm? One day you’re driving in your car through thunder, rain and lightning, maybe you were even a little scared. Then you come around a corner and see a ray of sunshine, and the most glorious rainbow has taken your breath away.
I too have seen rainbows, not just from my car window, but in my life also…
“Cindy, I give Kyle two blankets and one pillow. I also make up his bed with the first blanket and then wrap the second blanket around him.” My husband Vance was giving me the instructions for his nighttime routine. He is our son’s primary caregiver. Kyle is twenty-eight and is the only child of our five children, who still lives at home.
Kyle has autism.
God will take me back in time, some days, and remind me I that I used to live in a ferocious storm, but now have a rainbow over my life.
I once had a paralyzing fear. It’s not uncommon for mother’s to have irrational fears. If we didn’t, we probably wouldn’t be called Mom. I would worry that I was going to die, and Kyle would not only be devastated, but his teeth wouldn’t get brushed. When you love someone genuinely, you worry they will feel unloved or be uncared for when you are gone.
There was a point, just a few years back, where I was Kyle’s only caregiver. He had no staff to care for him, and Vance was working for a growing company and wasn’t involved in Kyle’s care.
Kyle’s world was all about me, and I was his lifeline.
Sorry to sound like a martyr, but it was just reality. Not by choice, since I desperately wanted help caring for Kyle. I really hoped Vance to be the one to hold my hand through the deep and dark valley I was going through. But God decided he wanted to be my anchor instead.
Boy, did this mother go to her knees every day, and not just for prayer, also to cry!
Getting out of bed was such a chore. Depression is a joy killer. I had multiple doctors offer me medication. I kept sticking to my story. “I am not a depressed person. I am joyful by nature and have situational depression.”
I could see the look on their faces, “Denial, she’s in denial.”
“Please, could you just give my son sleeping pills.”
I had been asking for these for over twenty years since Kyle slept about 2-3 hours every night. Kyle thought our house was a romper gym the rest of each night.
No help. Little sleep. Trying days. Long nights…depression.
God picked me up every day and wrapped me in his arms while I was going through my trials. After I had prayed for twenty-five years and cried so many times I could have a country song named after me; God answered me.
God was hurting when I was hurting.
My heavenly father knew that I had to go through a storm so I could see the most beautiful, glorious rainbow. But he still sympathized with me. One day God entered into Vance’s life and transformed him. He took this wife’s tears and prayers and washed my husband’s soul with them. Vance began to live his life with opened eyes, and a new heart for his wife and family.
 God poured sunshine into my storm.
My prayers for having a helper were granted. Vance took over almost all of Kyle’s care. I stopped having nightmares. Kyle is just as attached to Vance, now, as he is me. I also know Vance brushes his teeth each morning. If I were to die before Vance, I know he loves Kyle and will give up his life for him.
Why God took so long to answer one prayer, I may never know exactly. But I do know I have an appreciation for the life I have right now. I consider myself one of the most blessed women on the face of the planet.
You may not agree since:
I live in a noisy house.
My doors are all locked from the inside.
We hide everything.
We give out medication.
We spoon feed our son during his worst bipolar seasons.
Our possessions can still get broken during these bad spells.
If you had lived with us five years ago, it was so much worse than the above. We didn’t have locks on our inside doors, and when Kyle got up in the night, he would destroy everything in site. I had to sleep with one eye open, so I could leap out of bed and rescue our electronics and dishes.
Then I usually spent forty-five minutes at 3 am wiping the feces he had smeared throughout the house. I lived a nightmare every day since I was Kyle’s only day and night aide.
My life changed for the better.
I no longer live in that world. I now have more help than I ever dreamed possible. God blessed me with abundance:
Kyle stopped smearing feces daily.
He started sleeping through the night,
He was able to feed himself most days.
He was given six staff to rotate caring for him daily.
Vance took over his morning and evening routine.
A new life.
You’re probably wondering what I do now that my kids are gone, and Kyle has care. I write. My fingers are happily strolling across my keyboard most days, sharing the awesomeness of God, and the beautiful life he has given me after the pain.
Autism and a lonely marriage were my storms. A doting husband and father, and a son’s health restored were the rainbows. The blessings appeared after a heavenly Father’s love, grace, and care shone into the heart of a mother, father, and son, who needed help desperately.
Kyle’s prayers were answered.
I have no doubt Kyle prayed many days asking God to take away his pain. He lived an absolutely horrible life. No one should ever have to live the way he did. Kyle is one of the most amazing people I have the privilege of knowing.
Kyle pours his own sunshine into our days. He loves to laugh, be mischevious, tease and giggle. Kyle has a million things he could be angry at God over. But he shows no anger towards him. Every day Kyle plays the same song on his DVD player, by the Gaither Vocal Band called, Passing the Faith Along:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
The runner of a relay finds in his baton
Purpose for the running and strength to carry on
We hold within our grasp the faith that makes us strong
And like the relay runner, we seek to pass it on
Passin’ the faith along to my brother
Passin’ the faith along
Helping to build the faith of another
Passin’ the faith along
Sharing a word of hope with my brother
Helping to make him strong
Passin’ the faith along to my brother
Passin’ the faith along
I may be the messenger who brings the message to you about what God has done in Kyle’s life, but really it is Kyle who should be sitting at this keyboard. I know he has lots to say and epilepsy steals his words and speech from his mouth.
What Kyle would say to you if you’re going through a storm:
Run the race with perseverance.
Don’t give up, press on when it’s tough.
Live with joy, even on your hardest days.
Love God despite your sorrows.
Always live with hope.
Wait for sunshine and rainbows.
Kyle now has a dad who takes care of most of his needs and just loves him tremendously. When Vance was telling me about how he wraps him in a blanket each night, my heart gave a deep and wonderful sigh.
My dreams came true.
My son’s life has transformed into something I never thought he would have one day. I was given a brand new husband, even though he looks the same on the outside. I write weekly about our story. We share God’s goodness and grace from our past pain.
Your life may be a storm right now, and you have no sunshine to warm your heart each day. God wants to hold your hand, dry your tears and be your umbrella till it’s over. He is the creator and giver of rainbows and blessings.
He wants to bless you and give you peace amongst the raging storm. Ask your loving heavenly father today to provide you with the strength to endure, and peace, while he carries you through your pain.
Hopefully, your glorious rainbow is on its way.💗
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;Â
-Psalm 23: 1-4
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This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story <3
Thank you, Theodora! I’m glad you stopped by🙂