How can a wife put love into action? This should be simple right? We all know what a man would think if you put the words ‘love & action’ in the same sentence. Well, believe it or not, it takes more than a little action to make a man feel appreciated.
Do you feel loved when someone does something for you – for no reason at all – just because?
Maybe it’s your husband bringing you wildflowers on a Wednesday, that he saw on the side of the road. Or a neighbour dropping by with a fresh loaf of homemade bread. Or a friend calls just to check in and ask how you were doing.
This is love in action.
We can tell someone we love them, but if we don’t have actions to back up what we say, our words fall on deaf ears.
Love Through Friendship
Last night the ladies from our church hosted a baby shower for a lovely young mother from our church. I watched them all pile into our house with laughter and greetings to the new mother. Her church family brought food, cards, gifts, prayers, and friendship with them.
My heart was full as I watched all these lovely women show their love for a new baby and mother, through their actions and words.
Upstairs, love was in action in another way. My husband, Vance, had tidied up the kitchen since I had scooted downstairs right after making dinner to join the baby shower. It may be no big deal in your mind, but to me it is significant.
Years ago, my husband didn’t put his love for me into action.
This is something he has really been intentionally doing in the past five years. I often need reminders of all the little things he does, to show me how much he truly loves me, and to remind this wife of how far her husband has come.
What my husband does that makes me appreciate him:
💗 He takes out the garbage every Friday.
💗He folds laundry if I leave it in the dryer.
💗 He gasses up my car if he sees it’s getting close to empty.
💗 He patiently waits as I finish a blog before we go out the door.
💗 He makes sure our oil tank is always full for our furnace.
💗 He tidies up the kitchen if I’m out at a meeting in the evening.
Maybe by now, you are saying, “But my husband doesn’t do ANY of that!!!”I completely understand I promise you I do!
Let’s be honest for a minute. You may not be feeling a whole lot of love for your husband right now.
Maybe he’s lazy, overbearing, selfish, and insensitive to your needs. You’re about ready to buy him a one-way ticket to the moon. Good-bye, fun-zapping, TV-watching, sock-dropping husband.
The man I live with today used to feel like a huge burden to me, instead of the sweet, kind, and helpful man he is now. But God has asked us to love others when they are unlovable. To serve people when they are selfish, and to be kind when they are anything but:
That’s a hard one to swallow isn’t it, loving our men despite how they treat us?
But in every man, there is something to appreciate, even if we have to look REALLY hard. Do you also need a gentle nudge to remind you to encourage your man, by praising him for the actions he does do for you?
Sometimes our husbands need a little love themselves, and we can quickly forget to put it into action, especially if we have small children underfoot and are busy taking care of their needs.
When our five kids were small, it seemed I spent more time criticizing my husband than I did showing him I respected him or appreciated him. Everyone loves to be thanked and rewarded for the kindness or good deeds they do for their family- I included.
So, how about giving your husband a little TLC and appreciation through acts of service:
🌷 Make his favourite meal, light some candles, and have a date at home.
🌷 Gather up the kids and take them out on a Saturday while Daddy watches sports.
🌷 Pick up his dirty clothes without complaining.
🌷 Send him a text that will make him smile.
🌷 Sneak his vehicle away and bring it back sparkling clean.
🌷 Make him a mini scrapbook “Twenty Things I Love About You” (I had a friend that did this, and her husband loved it!)
🌷 Give him a massage (make sure the kids are in bed and asleep.)
🌷 Surprise him with his favourite chocolate bar or treat… just because.
🌷 Tell him you love him and think he is a good father and husband.
How can a wife put love into action?
I am just as guilty as any wife of taking my husband’s good deeds for granted. I can get busy and over-focused on the tasks of the day and forget to tell my husband I love and appreciate him.
When I do tell Vance that he is a good husband and father, he always gives me the same response: “I try.” I believe him 100% because I see the effort he puts out to cherish me. I’m not easy to live with, I have a bazillion flaws that could drive any man crazy.
After I wrote the above ways to ‘show your man you appreciate him,’ I asked Vance, without him seeing that list, how I could show him I cared.
Here’s what he said:
💗 “I think we feel loved when our spouse gives up something they really want to do so that we can do activities we enjoy.”
💗 “If you would watch a football game with me, I’d feel loved. Especially, if you didn’t ask twenty questions in the last two minutes of the game.” (What??? Do I really do that?)
Vance and I sat chatting, and he brought up our friend Jay, who is married to Laura. This week she’s away in Cancun on a trip she earned through Rodan and Fields. Laura works to support their family so Jay can look after their son, Victor, who has special needs due to a tumour that was removed from his brain a few years ago.
Jay’s love-in-action has spoken to Vance’s heart as a husband. While Laura is getting some much-needed downtime and pampering, Jay is at home taking care of Victor. Rarely does Jay get a break, yet he loves his wife and son unselfishly every day with his acts of service!
Laura returns the love by financially supporting the family and keeping all four of her boys in line, that includes the mischief-making-Jay. We don’t usually see both spouses in a marriage giving so unselfishly to each other and their children. Jay and Laura are rare gems and encouragement to both Vance and me.
Marriage is already a challenge for most people, let alone if they are taking care of a special needs child or adult.
Do you have a few moments today to just sit and ponder how you can make your husband feel not only respected by you but also cherished?
Make a mental note of five actions you are willing to do this week to spoil your hubby and make his eyes light up. Even if you feel he doesn’t deserve it or hasn’t earned your respect, do it anyway because you love him.
It may be easier than you think.
Your husband’s heart might soften a little, and he may even bless you with a heaping armful of love back💗