Have you earned a few wrinkles and are looking like an antique car? Is your exterior beginning to cause you concern now that you’re middle-aged? Unfortunately, you and I are in the same boat, midlife and beauty are important to us. I will be fifty next year and am quite excited about it, at least I thought I was until I was overlooked for the younger model…
My husband Vance and I were on vacation in Miami.
On our first day, we were walking down the Lincoln Road Mall, which is a mile of shops, cafes, and restaurants. I was feeling like a giddy school girl who had just started her first day of summer break. We had left behind the six months of winter, and we’re going to enjoy the Miami weather.
I was looking good with my newly painted toenails, which were bright pink, of course! My hairdresser had given me a lovely blonde hairdo, and I had gone for a non-toxic spray on tan so I could avoid the sun but still cover all the dimples that my prosciutto-indulgence had caused.
We arrived at our favourite cafe, Paul’s Bakery. This is an Italian bakery with pastries that could make you melt into a puddle on the floor.
My husband Vance reserved us a table under an umbrella, and I went in to get us a snack.
As I walked into the cafe, a girl was standing at the end of the line looking at the menu on the wall. Then she stepped away. I entered and walked around to the cash register where I was to order.
Then I saw the lady was now standing a couple of feet back, but near the cash register.
“Are you in line?” I asked her?
“Yes, but I’m obviously at the wrong end of the line.” She said with a giggle
This woman was absolutely stunning with her long, blonde, silky hair and blue eyes. Her friend standing beside her was equally as beautiful.
“Here hop in front of me, you were first,” I said to her. After all, I am Canadian, and we are very polite ( too polite according to people from other countries.)
“No, no you go ahead,” she said to me.
Then she walked all the way around and back into line behind me. There was one customer in front of me being helped by a man who looked like an Italian fashion model. I told her again she was welcome to go first, but she refused. I stepped up to the cash registered and was about to order from the Italian model when he moved over to the second cash register and said to the MUCH YOUNGER AND PRETTIER girls, “You were here first, what would you like to order?”
All my Canadian manners funnelled out of me, and I looked like my Instant Pot with steam blowing out of my ears. My eyes began to bulge, and my lips hung open.
How dare he!!! I thought to myself
Then the pretty girl spoke up, but first, she laughed at him like he was a foolish eight-year-old. Because we all knew what was going on here. “No, she can order first, unless of course, you’re ordering for ten people then I’ll go first.” She laughed again.
By this point, I wanted to hug her and slap the twenty-five-year-old Italian hormone-raging-model.
I ordered a raisin danish, a chocolate croissant and two coffee, and I even left the rude boy a tip in his little jar. I walked out into the warm Miami air to my husband who is also like an antique model car, but in my eyes is a Lamborghini.
As we sat talking, I told him the story, and we sat chuckling. This is the beginning of a new era for me of being passed over for the “younger versions.”
Have you been having the same phenomenon happening to you? Are you feeling looked over for the new younger versions of pretty? Is botox, facelifts and fillers starting to look tempting to you? Yes, I think the same.
Since I’m a blogger and include photo’s on my blog. I want the world to think I’m flawless.
I wrote a post that is one of my most popular, about beauty, selfies and our obsession with both, read it: HERE
(Below is the real me on the left. On the right is the version I want the world to see.)
Vanity is real, every woman struggles with this inner monster.
It can rear its ugly head and cause us to become critical and competitive with women and vie for the attention of others. I am no different. God has been working in my heart, asking me to encourage other women. If they are prettier, more talented, smarter, more organized, slimmer, or wealthier than me, he wants me to be genuinely happy for them.
God’s encouraging women to give up the comparison game for good! Are you willing to try along with me to accept yourself as enough? No more comparing, just embracing other women’s attributes and successes and being truly happy for them.
I feel God trying to whisper into my old and growing ears:
“Cindy, you are enough. Your inward beauty will never fade if you love me. Though people look on the outward, I see the inward. You will be cherished for the joy you bring others. Your body is just a shell you will leave behind, but your spirit will live forever. Spend time in my word, and in prayer talking to me, and your inner beauty will grow significantly.”
Oh, how God loves you and me. He also understands our need to be valued. Since he created us, he knows all our weaknesses and flaws and sympathizes with our need to be loved.
Is God speaking to your heart right now, like he has been to mine? Are you tired of the constant battle to keep up with the women around you?
Give up the battle.
God wants to free you to be the very woman he created you to be: a beautiful spirit who loves others and has joy in seeing her friends and loved ones excel and bloom. He also created you to be able to love yourself and appreciate your inner loveliness that only comes from having a relationship with Jesus.
Today I hope you will ask God to change your heart and renew your spirit to be one of freedom to love yourself as you are. I too am praying the same prayer, and we may have to repeat it every day till we finally see the freedom…
To be a well-loved antique version of our younger selves💗
I have felt the sting of invisibility before. I doubt Botox would change that.
I think there are potentially two parts to your message. We shouldn’t waste time in a comparison game or feel jealous of others.
However there have been a few times in my life where I have felt as if people perhaps treated me a different way because they put me in a box because of how I looked on that particular day. I think we have to “see” everyone as beautiful and treat them in a way that is honorable.
One of these days happened when I went to confront the school principal about my daughter being denied access to the bathroom. It was very clear to me that she wanted to immediately shut me down. Long story, my daughter was not the only kid it happened to, and was not the only teacher that denied kids access to the bathroom. It was the first of many episodes with that particular teacher that she viewed most of the parents as scum in her school, and that only a few deserved to be treated with dignity.
Kate, you are right on point! We had the bathroom problem when our daughter was in grade eight also. If we put on high heels and dress in business attire we can be treated differently than if we had on our jogging pants on. That’s is too bed the teacher isn’t valuing everyone equally😞