When I was just a tom-boyish girl of about ten, I was green with envy, and I had no clue how to be a bosom friend and a cherished blessing. My motto was: life has to be fair and square. If my friends had something I didn’t, well watch out, I was going to be snotty about it!
Two of my friends had canopy beds. One girl had a pink bed, and the other friend had a white one. My friends also each had their own rooms. I shared a dark bedroom with my younger sister Lisa in the basement of our house, and we had matching chocolate-brown bedspreads. Not really the dream-room of a little girl. I envied both my friends and the lovely rooms they had.
My older sister Shaun had her own bedroom upstairs, and her walls were covered with pink coloured panelling. I dreamed of one day taking over her room and having it ALL TO MYSELF, but that never happened.
In my entire life, I’ve had a room to myself for about two years. I’m not complaining since the person I have been sharing with for the past thirty years is also my best friend and husband.
But as a child who never owned anything lavish, extravagant or expensive…I had a problem with envy. I also didn’t know how to be genuinely excited for my friends when something incredible happened to them.
One summer when my best friend Kyna was going on vacation with her family, and she was telling me all about the fun things they were going to be doing on their trip, I shrugged my shoulders and made it sound like it was NO BIG DEAL.
If I couldn’t have it, my friend Kyna shouldn’t have it either: life had to be fair and square.
But what I didn’t realize was; when I was envious of Kyna and the beautiful blessings in her life; I wasn’t sharing in her joy. I was too consumed with what I wasn’t getting to be excited for her and what she was receiving!
But my dear friend stuck it out with me, and over the years I watched Kyna be happy for others when they were doing incredible things or receiving something extravagant that she wasn’t. Kyna shared in their excitement as though it was her own.
A few years ago Kyna moved into a house her and her husband Neil had purchased. They had been renting for quite a few years, and this was a BIG blessing to them. Kyna brought me through her new adorable home with its peaked ceilings and quaint features. Her dad had designed and built her a kitchen, and it looked like it was out of a magazine.
I was overjoyed for Kyna and wanted to be the person who would cheer, laugh and rejoice with my dear friend. I couldn’t think of anyone who deserved a loved one to be genuinely excited for her, than Kyna.
Many people believe friendship is tested when we go through tragedy; has our friend been there for us?
I believe friendship goes through a greater trial when one friend receives something the other wants: is there a genuine and mutual joy shared between them? This is a critical test of friendship, one many don’t survive.
I am speaking about friendship at the Inspired conference on October 20th. (you can check out the details here: Inspired: For Women, By Women. ) My experience in becoming an author and blogger has taught me a great deal about friendship as my closest girlfriends shared in my extraordinary moments, with their own genuine happiness for me.
So can I ask you what kind of friend you are?
Do you rejoice with your loved ones and friends when they receive a large sum of money through honest gain, or an excellent opportunity, or a rockstar moment? Or do you act like it’s no big deal, and gossip behind their back, or put down their exciting moment like I did to Kyna?
Reflect for a moment and think of the most wonderful thing that could possibly happen to you. What if you called your girlfriend on the phone, what would you want her to say after you shared your amazing news?
I’m so happy for you!
You deserve this!
I hope you succeed!
These are the same words your friend wants to hear from you. Because, when you say them to her, she truly knows you are her bosom friend. If you’re going to learn about genuine friendship watch the movie Anne of Green Gables. In the film Anne asks her new adoptive mother an important question:
Do you want a bosom friend? If you desire one, I believe deep in your heart you also want to be one.
Have you been jealous and envious of your friend’s success? Did her new promotion cause you to avoid her? When she told you her good news, did you cut her off and change the subject? When your friend gets a brand new car for the first time, do you jump up and down with her?
If you haven’t been a good friend, you can turn the tables today. Call the woman you have been envious of and apologize for bursting her bubble of joy. Send her a card saying congratulations with a note, or buy her a small bouquet of flowers and show up at her door with a big smile. Hopefully, she will forgive you, and you can become her greatest cheerleader!
A Bosom Friend and a Cherished Blessing
Friendship is one of the most beautiful gifts God gave to humans, and women especially need the love and support that is provided by a dear friend. I recently texted my friend Sue and asked her opinion on something, I knew she’d be honest, yet kind. I love this about her! She’s not going to sugar-coat something just to make me happy. Sue wants what’s best for me, and helped me make a decision.
Friendship also means being truthful in the kindest way possible, and often times this helps those we love the most. When someone close to me was doing something that was dishonest, I really had to speak up because I loved them dearly and was worried about the consequences, and the harm it could bring them.
Friendship also means honesty in the sincerest form.
We need to have an understanding with our friends that we will be honest and diligent in keeping each other accountable, but only when we have the most sincere intentions of wanting what’s best for each other.
Learning who our most beloved friends are or aren’t can be hurtful, but also, in the end, bring us immeasurable joy.
If there is a woman who has cheered you on through the good, bad and ugly- hang onto her for dear life. She is a rare gem and precious jewel! Your treasured friend will help carry you through the severe storms of life and rejoice in the beautiful gardens of your successes.
Being a bosom friend and a cherished blessing is the sign of a lovely woman who not only loves herself but also genuinely loves others.
Be that Friend💗