What does a woman want?
Our husbands are stumped by this question? They have spent hours pondering this mysterious, unanswered, and age-old thought.
The answer is really quite simple. At least for a mother of small children, it’s uncomplicated.
I asked a couple of married women who didn’t have kids, what a woman really wants, they said:
If my husband had asked me that when my five children were ages 1, 3, 5, 7 and 8 1/2, I would have told him nothing.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my kids more than anything else in my life. But my days were filled with so much noise I couldn’t find a minute of quiet and sanity.
Mother’s want an hour of nothingness. Is that a word? Probably not, if a husband asks his wife if she would like an hour to herself, she will lunge into her husband’s arms telling him he is the most amazing man on earth.
I’m guessing you have probably felt this way too? You’re sitting here shaking your head YES!!! You dream of coming down with a strange rash that would require you to be hospitalized and put in the isolation unit for a week just so you can sleep. Don’t feel guilty, most moms have had at least one of these days in her lifetime.
Sometimes a woman needs a timeout.
One summer afternoon the kids were all upstairs playing, and I thought I might have a few minutes to myself. I grabbed a book and went out on the porch, and sat down and sighed…quiet.
Two minutes later…Mommy. I ignored the child, hoping they would give up and go back to play with their siblings. After a minute I heard them yell up to their brothers and sisters, “Mommy is gone!” They all came barrelling down the stairs calling my name over and over. “Mommy…Mooooommy…MOMMMMY.” Panic filled their lungs.
I rose from my oasis, leaving behind my hiding spot, and I walked in the front door. The kids were like a puppy who greets you when you come home, I was their delight. My children were my greatest joy!
We were created to enjoy peace and quiet. We were also designed to be able to rely on God when we don’t have that rest. This was the stage in my life where rest was a completely foreign word…it didn’t exist, at least not in my world.
The beauty of God is: he never rests or needs quiet.
His days are filled with caring for his children. He doesn’t need a break and never wants to have an oasis from daily life. He wants his children to be following him every day peppering him with question, requests and praise.
God is the perfect parent.
Are you a mom who feels like she needs some nothingness in her life, but it’s just not possible in the stage you are in? God wants you to unload all your fears, concerns, yearnings and stresses on him.
He will carry you and your children through busy, noisy and sometimes insane days. You may just need a little time on your knees to be renewed and recharged.
When I was eight months pregnant with my third child, one morning I went to check on my oldest son Kyle, who was three and a half.
I opened his door.
The whole room was smeared with poop. Kyle had autism. I had gotten up with him about ten times that night. This had been my nightly routine since he was born.
I was dangling from a skinny rope.
I stared into the room, then at the face of my innocent little boy. I shut the door, as I slid down sobbing, and fell into a heap on the floor. The thin ice I had been walking on cracked, and I reached my balled up fists to the heavens and yelled,
I hate you, God!
You don’t care about me!
I went on to live with twenty more years of this anger and resentment as I tried to survive the effects of autism. Yes, believe it or not, life got much worse, before it got better.
But the God of all peace, the Father who loves me, picked up his broken little girl and carried her through many more years. He kept dragging me out of bed each morning and holding my hand every day.
My rest wasn’t quiet moments, coffee breaks and reading books. I had a heavenly father who knew how to carry me, through the darkest valley when I couldn’t even get off my own knees.
I think of the song: Oh Lord You’re Beautiful, by Keith Green. One of the verses speaks of what went on in my life:
Oh Lord, you’re beautiful,
Your face is all I seek,
For when your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me.
I was angry at God, but I was seeking him. I needed him more than breathing itself, and he accepted that because he loved me. He wanted a broken girl with all her dirty baggage. He wanted to purify my heart by walking me through the hot fires of trials and tribulations.
God poured an abundance of grace into my soul.
He walked with me, and boy was I hurting. So much so that I thought I couldn’t go another day.
After twenty-five years of refining, he began to give me rest. I was a stubborn child and a tough nut to crack. I would not submit my life, my children, my husband, my dreams and hopes to him.
Rest comes when you give up everything you want and begin to desire what God wants for you.
When I finally submitted…the rest arrived.
Then God asked me to write a book, Beauty from Ashes. He helped me make a website, and I became passionate about writing. I shared the years where I was lost and the joy God had given me, even though I had been a rebellious child.
He gave me hope.
God blessed me beyond what I could ever dream, even though I didn’t deserve anything from him.
Are you tired and waiting for the resting years? Are you willing to give your children, your husband, your dirty house, and messy schedule over to God? He has a beautiful plan for your life…he is just waiting for you to give it all to him.
Entrust God with everything you have.
Then rest in his arms, against his heart, …where he wants you to be💗
He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord! Trust in the Lord God always, for in the Lord Jehovah is your everlasting strength. -Isaiah 26:3-4
Believing and hoping,