This tip might prevent one of you from sleeping on the couch after the shocking reveal. I am going to explain why you should warn your husband before you dye your hair.
I am married to a man who likes sameness. Yes, that sounds incredibly boring, especially to a woman who enjoys living by the seat of her pants. But I love being married to a man who is predictable in every way…since I’m not. Opposites attract right?
Hardly ever has my husband surprised me with his behaviour.
Me on the other hand – I keep Vance on his toes constantly, and he is a very patient man. Over the years I have come to realize that I need to warn my I-don’t-like-change-husband ahead of time when I transform my hair drastically.
About fifteen years ago, I felt impulsive one afternoon and asked my friend Christine to cut my hair. I went from soft curly hair that was down to my shoulders, to a hairdo that was about two inches long. This was my choice. Christine wasn’t too sure about cutting off so much hair at once. She also knew my husband well since her and her husband Ron lived with us. But I ignored her suggestion.
When Vance left in the morning, he thought his wife had gorgeous hair: and when he returned at night, she had no hair.
This didn’t go over well…at all!
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Vance was quite upset. I felt ugly. He hadn’t said anything rude or mean. He just said he didn’t like it. I absolutely believe now, that he’s entitled to his opinion. I may have felt the same if he drastically changed his looks.
Have you ever seen one of those home videos where a kid is bawling their eyes out because their dad shaved his beard off? That’s how Vance felt, but he did an excellent job of holding in the bawling, he may have done that later when I wasn’t within earshot.
Marriage Tip #1: Warn Your Husband When You Dye Your Hair
Last week I went to the hairdressers to get my highlights done. Vance knows I do this every three to four months. When I left I looked like this:
He loves my hair blonde. That is what I was going to be coming home with. The hairdresser and I discussed changing my base colour. She suggested we dye my whole head dark and then add in some blonde. But we didn’t have time to do it all in one day. She could add the blonde in, ten days later.
“Okay let’s do that,” I said.
In the back of my mind was a little voice, “Vance is going to have a meltdown.” But I happily ignored it and on we went. When it was all said and done, I had a beautiful brunette head.
I went home, and my daughter Charity was there. She didn’t think it looked too bad. My daughter Aryanna came into the house, walked into the kitchen and looked at me quickly, saying hi. Then her head snapped back, “OH MY!!!”
This wasn’t good.
If Aryanna reacted this way and she’s pretty open to me changing my hair, what will Vance think?
I was beginning to doubt my decision. Like maybe this is equal to saying I’m pregnant at age 49. Wait no, not a good comparison. Vance loves babies, he’d be delighted if we were raising babies till he was 75… me not so much.
Vance calls me on his way home from work. I kindly gave him a heads-up ahead of time. His reaction is guarded. I’m worried about him. I may have to admit him for some meds to calm him. Last time that happened It was when I wrote: How To Kill Your Husband With an Instant Pot
He arrives at home and walks into the kitchen. Surprise!!!
HE DOES NOT LIKE MY HAIR.
*See pic below
When we were younger, I would have been very offended and become angry with him. This would have landed him in the doghouse for a week…maybe two.
If I liked it, he had to like it too. I was bossy.
But on this day I was laughing at his reaction. He was bordering on being angry with me for the drastic change.
You have to know something about Vance. He’s the calmest, sweetest man you will possibly meet in your lifetime. I have seen him angry a handful of times in thirty years. It takes A LOT to rile him up.
Apparently, a box of dye is A LOT.
I promised him it wasn’t going to stay this way, I was going to have some blonde put in ten days later. He still looked like he had steam coming out of his ears.
Two days later he comes into the kitchen and looks down at me… “I think I like your hair” (insert rolling eyes and a giant sigh.)
Not that this tip is going to help you in any way at all if your husband hates change. But it might keep your marriage intact for a few extra days and the doghouse empty.
Men: we can’t live with them, and we can’t live without them…
But I kind of like mine.
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*Vance approves these posts before I release them (this makes him an incredibly wonderful husband)